He shook his head unbelieving. Yes, I went dancing with our boss, so what? Why should it stifle him so much?
We were sitting on the cement embankment outside the building under a tree. Had worked all night and it was 4 in the morning. We managed to get some food delivered. As we ate we were browsing through my laptop and he ran into the pictures of the boss and I at a salsa workshop.
He kept shaking his head and I playfully punched him. To avoid the punch he ducked, grabbed at my hand and tugged it hard until we were closer than I expected. I kept looking at him, nervously. He held my gaze and smiled, and drew me closer. I panicked. He let go off me and what do I expect? He laughed his head off. He rolled on the floor. Laughing. He was laughing for the fact that I got scared, it seems. TO hell with him.
This time he tried to get close again and then I laughed away first. I knew he didn't have the guts to pull it off. But then next time he tried I panicked again. But to hide my panic I burst into laughter. And this went on for a while.
Then we settled down and looked at the stars. Tried to recognise them and talked about the myths around them. It was a clear night sky. And then he took my face into his hands and planted a light kiss on my lips.
I looked at him dazed. He didn't let go of my face. Instead, we kissed a forceful kiss. I never knew he wanted me as much as I wanted him. When he let go of me, I was still with closed eyes. I wanted to cherish the moment and drink up the memories so that it remains fresh in my heart.
I opened by eyes. I was on a cold cement embankment outside the building, on a cold night, alone. I got up and began walking back. The breeze was bitingly cold and I pulled my sweater closer. As I walked away, I passed by a cemetery where they claim his body rests. But I never had the courage to enter it. To me he is alive in flesh and blood, as long as the memory of this kiss remains. I could feel him, touch him, hear his laughter and smell his perfume.
To me he is alive.